Do you like being spat on? If a guy asks you to spit on his face, during a hook-up, are you into it?

Wet your whistle and let’s talk spit.

What is a gay spit fetish?

Putting to one side the discussion about when something is a kink and when something is a fetish, if someone tells you that they’ve got a gay spit kink that’s a pretty broad term that could incorporate all sorts of different aspects of the hook-up experience.

Spit is fairly fundamental to most sexual encounters. You might be cruising and not have any lube with you – for example, at a local gay park hookup – so you’re going to spit on your cock, you’re going to spit on his hole, you’re going to use spit to help get the job done. 

The same goes for when you’re jacking off. Sure, if you’re planning an extended bate session then you’ll have some quality lube at hand, but if it’s just a quick wank then spit will give you the slip and slide that you need.

Adding the term kink or fetish into the equation means that you get aroused by the spit itself – or the act of spitting or being spat on.

Why do I get turned on by getting spat on by a gay hookup?

Why we develop a specific kink or fetish is fairly complex and it varies from person to person. You might be able to pinpoint a specific moment that crystallised it for you, or it could be a series of experiences, or there may not be a reason at all – it’s just what pushes your buttons.

You don’t have to be a psychologist to see the BDSM potential of spitting – there’s a clear link to the iconography of dominance and submission, power and control.

Gay BDSM is a broad umbrella term – it can include whips, gay bondage, chains, leather and ball gags, as well as spitting. In many ways, BDSM is more about attitude and intention than the tools being used.

Culturally, to spit on someone is to humiliate them, to degrade them, to disrespect them. We don’t have time to unpack the internalised homophobia that might connect to that, but we can just accept that being degraded can be a turn-on. You want to spit in my face and call me a pathetic faggot? I’m into it.

You don’t have to over-think your kinky desires. You want someone to play with your nipples? Cool. You want someone to spit in your face? That’s cool as well.

How do I tell a new hookup that I like to be spat on and abused?

Like pretty much anything in life, the better you are at communicating your needs and desires, the easier it is for those needs and desires to be met.

One of the obvious barriers that you may face in communicating what you’re into is if you feel any shame or embarrassment.

If your shame is holding you back from clearly articulating what you’re into, you’re relying on your hook-up to be something of a mind-reader if he’s going to effectively push your buttons.

Obviously, health and hygiene considerations may come into play. While everyone is a bit more relaxed now that we’re past the worst of the Covid-19 pandemic, there’s still a range of reasons why someone may be hesitant to swap spit with you. Again, this is best addressed through effective communication. If you suggest that someone spits on you and they let you know that they’re not into that, that’s cool – you both know where you stand.

Where it gets a bit more complicated is if you’re exploring a kink such as non-consensual rape play or a BDSM kink such as Shibari rope bondage. If you’re not clear where the boundaries are then it’s essential that you’ve got an agreed safe-word in place.

How do I incorporate my gay spit fetish into other gay roleplay?

The great thing about having a spit kink is that it’s easily incorporated into whatever scenario or role-play that you’re exploring.

Let’s look at some examples:

Want to have sex at work and explore the power dynamic of when men put some suits on? Maybe your boss isn’t happy with your spreadsheets and so he spits in your face and then fucks you in order to deliver the kind of performance review that you’ll understand.

If a bit of consensual non-con rape-play is what pushes your buttons, spitting on the guy you’re assaulting is the perfect way to demonstrate who’s in control.

Want to be gang-fucked by a room full of men? Read about how to plan gay group sex parties in our post here. The perfect way to get the action started is to have the assembled dudes spit in your face and on your fuck-hole before they all take turns breeding you.

Is it safe for an anonymous hookup partner to spit on me?

With any sexual encounter, there is the potential for the transmission of STIs. However, spitting on each other is at the low-risk end of the spectrum – it’s pretty much the same risk-level as kissing and making out with a gay hookup app partner.

Gay penetrative sex is relatively high-risk because there’s more bodily fluids involved – particularly jizz and cum which, in the past, has been the main way that HIV has been transmitted.

Gonorrhea and Chlamydia are STIs that we frequently encounter, but these generally require genital contact in order for transmission to occur.

Oral Herpes and HPV can be transmitted through spit, plus you could be exposing yourself to the flu, Covid, or norovirus – none of which are much fun.

The important thing is to take responsibility for your own sexual health. That means testing regularly and doing your best to minimise transmission risk through the preventative methods of condoms, PrEP, TasP, and PeP medications.