July 30, 2025
In this day and age, all you wanna do is jerk off and have some fun! Watching porn is a fundamental right and the easiest way to get off when you have a phone screen, and you and your hand tonight.
However, some governments are making it harder to have a good, legitimate, and age-appropriate time alone, as evidenced by the challenge to Age ID verification in the US Supreme Court, which the Supreme Court has upheld despite the problematic elements to individual freedoms. Meaning that any chance of keeping what you’re browsing private without showing your ID to an online entity has become much more complex.
Our last VPN 101 article discussed the reasons you should use a VPN, including this law, but now, we’re breaking down six trusted VPN brands that you can go with to keep the stroking action going. Let’s get into it.
As we mentioned in our previous article, there are two main reasons why VPNs have become hugely popular in the internet age.
Firstly, it’s a way of concealing what you’ve been looking at online. For example, if you don’t want your browser history to document that you’ve been searching for hot submissive horny femboys, a VPN will help keep your secrets.
Second, VPNs can help people bypass censorship by making it appear as though they are accessing restricted content from a country where it is not banned.
Yes, it does matter; while we aren’t legal experts, countries in systems like Five Eyes, Nine Eyes, or Fourteen Eyes (including the US) may have government laws that could force you to hand over your data, whether you like it or not.
Yes, a VPN headquartered in a privacy-friendly country means that country’s strong privacy laws could benefit you.
This is why, on this list, we recommend only VPNs based in those countries or VPNs with strong encryption practices to help you make the right decision.
We get it, if you’re browsing some kinky gay porn and you’re investing in a VPN, you want it to work.
And sure, a hot and horny gay orgy full of consenting adults isn’t a crime, but considering a VPN is all about futureproofing your innocent jerk off sessions, in case someone later decides to tell you it is a crime.
For optimal privacy, consider the following countries when evaluating a VPN purchase, as these are the countries where the VPN company should be based.
We discussed the Five Eyes, Nine Eyes, and Fourteen Eyes above, and Switzerland is not part of any of these alliances. Additionally, with its robust privacy laws, there’s a reason why many banking, securities, and VPN clients are based in this country.
As an EU Country, and with the 2014 historic decision that the European Union’s Court of Justice has ruled that a directive authorizing the retention of data was unjust, Romania also is deemed a reliable place for VPN server locations, and for good security laws that make it hard for your data to be accessed later.
With no data-retention laws and strong privacy protections, it’s no surprise that many VPN companies have their headquarters in Panama, where they can protect their business and your data.
Similar to Panama, BVI has no logging or data retention requirements, making it a haven for VPN servers and companies to protect your data.
Not just a place for beautiful stars, mountains, and refreshing mountain air, with no formal alliances with countries, pro-privacy laws, and Iceland’s Data Protection Authority (DPA) consistently challenges authorities to relinquish data, it’s a great place to watch porn, we believe. We love a dominant force in the bedroom, but standing up to federal courts is also a boner-maker, too.
In Singapore, the PDPA is the Personal Data Protection Act 2012, which regulates the collection, use, and disclosure of personal data. Part of the Act places a strong emphasis on the ability to opt out of data collection, making it a favourable country for hosting VPN services.
Norway is another country with strong privacy laws and high judicial oversight, which is a fancy way of saying that the laws prioritize the rights of citizens over those of corporations or entities.
One company that falls within our recommendations is based in Norway, due to its advanced technology and these laws. Read on!
Given the above details and why you should seek a VPN for your viewing pleasures, let’s get into the top, notable brands that made our list of top VPN providers.
Varying in price, individual reviews and each having their pros and cons, we chose these for their availability and notability in the market (for those who use VPNs regularly already), and also the fact that they mention they are hosted or run their servers in many of the “haven” countries we mentioned above. Let’s get into the list.
Developed by a team of Lithuanian developers and legally based in Panama, the company is incorporated in the Netherlands. It has a global presence, with offices in Lithuania and the UK.
While some users report hit-or-miss experiences with NordVPN, the tech is solid and reliable, even with a steeper price tag than most (but good introductory deals for those who shop with savvy).
They’ve also introduced post-quantum encryption for VPN users, which sounds fancy, but essentially, for an end-consumer, it means a VPN option that ensures a future, scary-smart computer (we’re looking at you AI; hot gay AI porn now, yes, but bad reputation of maybe taking over the world in sci-fi movies, later) couldn’t potentially hack your data.
When you think of bad actors using your data for harm, you’re probably thinking your gay porn history will be the last of your concerns, but really, using a VPN for all types of online activities means any hackers getting a complete profile of who you are is mitigated.
Don’t just stop at porn, use the power of good VPN technology for all everyday web things.
Whether it’s your fave YouTuber plugging this brand in a sponsored post or you’ve seen a promo code or referral link floating around, Surfshark is a Netherlands-headquartered VPN (with roots in Lithuania) offering robust privacy and security tools.
Their introductory pricing makes them a competitive choice, and their location also makes them an alluring option for securing your privacy.
A secure, privacy-focused virtual private network developed by the team behind Proton Mai, which is already very privacy-focused.
Based in Switzerland—known for strong privacy laws—Proton VPN offers strong encryption, a no-logs policy, and advanced features like Secure Core (routing traffic through multiple servers) and NetShield (ad and malware blocking).
It supports streaming, torrenting, and access to censored content, so much so that they even have a whole page on bypassing censorship, so we know they are allies in finding ways to look at gay smut on your own time and your devices without harm or unnecessary intervention.
Founded in 2009 and now operated by Kape Technologies, ExpressVPN is based in the British Virgin Islands (BVI)—a jurisdiction renowned for its privacy-friendly nature, characterized by the absence of data-retention laws and no major surveillance alliances.
A privacy-focused VPN service based in Romania, a country with no mandatory data-retention laws, making it a strong jurisdiction for digital privacy. Launched in 2011, it’s now part of Kape Technologies (also behind ExpressVPN and Private Internet Access).
Operates physical, diskless (RAM-only) servers in Oslo, Norway, providing strong data security and fast speeds.
But wait, are RAM-only servers critical? Yes! However, while those in high-security jobs or environments prefer these servers, they might not be needed for everyone.
Still, these servers boot entirely from RAM and don’t use hard drives, meaning none of your data is logged onto physical media that could be compromised, shared, or hacked later.
With everything wiped from the start, or never logged to begin with, it makes it an excellent choice when you’re firing up multiple tabs of smut in your browser.
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